Other Websites and YouTube channels

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Debunction Junction - Article #1 - Debunking Ken Ham, the Creation Museum in Kentucky, and Noah's Ark, the FAIL BOAT!


Welcome to Debunction Junction!

And climb aboard the Midnight Science Express!


Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH! Whoo! Whoo! Clickity-clack clickity-clck clickity-clack! And off we go on the Midnight Science Express!   

Tonight, as we pull out of Debunction Junction, we shall begin our very first journey, one of many such journeys, as we travel through the dangerous realm of stupidity, exploring the Land of the Tards. Passengers would be well advised to stay on board the train because the tards out there can be quit hostile and even very dangerous! So, be warned!

In the diner coach, for tonight's entrée, we shall be serving up Ken Ham's bitch-ass on a silver platter. Yes, Ken Ham's bitch-ass ought to be quite tasty since he has fattened himself up from all the money he has made over the years, peddling his right-wing Christian Fundamentalist Creationist bullshit propaganda, and brainwashing innocent children before they are old enough to even think for themselves. So tonight, Ken Ham will be getting his just deserts. 

And after your meal, kick back and relax at the smoker's lounge in the rear coach. The Smoking Lounge is in  the rear coach out of consideration for the non-smokers in the more forward coaches. Albert Einstein and Dr. Clyde Tombaugh (whom I knew personally at NMSU back in the 1970s) were pipe smokers. So, smoke 'em if ya got 'em! 

We are now pulling out of Debunction Junction. Just listen to the wheels rumbling beneath the floor, and kick back and relax as you feel the train swaying and rocking to the  gentle beat with the rhythm of the rails as we go a-rumblin' hurly-burly down the track to our first destination deep in the Land of the Tards.

OK, ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls, we are now in the state of Kentucky, and as you look out toward the right (every thing in the Land of the Tards is way off to the far right) you will see Ken Ham's Creation Museum. Yeah! A real shit-dump of retarded and moronic idiocy

As you all know, folks, at the Creation Museum, there was a recent debate back in February 5,2014 a debate between Bill Nye (The Science Guy) and Ken ham, who is the President and CEO of the Creation Museum and Answers in Genesis. After the debate was over, an exit poll was conducted by Christian Today, and according to the evangelical website, 92% percent said that Bill Nye won the debate while only 8% percent (thought?) that Ken Ham had won. Yes! A Christian organization had to be honest, and own up to the fact the Bill Nye had won the debate! Yeah! Ken Ham got his ass kicked on his own home turf!

Hey Ken Ham! I guess things for you aren't going so good in the hood! Eh? You're probably going to feel butt-hurt for some time to come! 

According to an exit poll conducted by Christian Today, 92% percent said Bill Nye won the debate
In the entertainment coach, where we usually show movies and videos, tonight's feature video will be of the recent debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham at the Creation Museum in Kentucky.

Bill Nye Debates Ken Ham - HD (Official)

OK, this video is hosted by the Answers in Genesis YouTube channel, and it's about 2:45:32 in length. But, you'll have to wait about 13 minutes before the debate starts. So, please bear with us. Sorry 'bout that! 

Here is the description under said video.

Answers in Genesis 

Streamed live on Feb 4, 2014

Is creation a viable model of origins in today's modern, scientific era? Leading creation apologist and bestselling Christian author, Ken Ham, is joined at the Creation Museum by Emmy Award-winning science educator and CEO of the Planetary Society, Bill Nye. To see Bill Nye's arguments debunked visit http://debatelive.org 
Oh! But, comment posting and ratings under the video has been disabled, which naturally, is typical of all the right-wing Christard Funny-mentalist COWARDS!!! However . . . to their credit, though . . . nothing was edited out, so you'll get to see the debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham in its entirety. But . . . when you go over to the Answers in Genesis channel on YouTube, I guess you'll just have sit down, shut the fuck up, and listen to Ken Ham's moronic BULLSHIT!!! Also, they have a website debunking Bill Nye, The Science Guy.

Here is the link to . . . Debunking Bill Nye's Arguments
I shall quote from said website, but not the whole thing, because it's too much BULLSHIT!!!

Debate Answers

During the debate Bill Nye presented many statements and asked many questions. Because of the nature of the event, Ken Ham was often not able to respond directly to many of these statements.

However, the majority of Nye’s statements and questions have been addressed on our website or by other organizations who teach a young-earth creation. Here is a sampling of articles, videos, audios, books, and other resources.

Note: several of these articles are technical in nature.

Bill Nye Debates Ken Ham
“There Is a Book . . .” A Defining Moment

There were many defining moments in Tuesday night’s debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham at the Creation Museum in Northern Kentucky. The debate topic, “ Is creation a viable model of origins in today’s modern, scientific era?” can be summed up as a conversation of evolution vs. creation.

For Ken Ham, one of those defining moments came when Bill Nye twice referred to origins as a “great mystery.” Each time, Ken Ham responded by saying, “There is a book . . .” Of course that book is the Bible, God’s Word, which gives us answers to the skeptical questions of the age.

Yadda yadda yadda, etc. etc. etc. 

If you wish to read more, just click on the above link. Also, on my train, we will be passing out the barf bags in case anyone of you on board starts to feel sick. Yeah! Bill Nye had all the scientific facts on his side. But what does Ken Ham have? Well . . . . . he says . . . There is a book! Yeah! Uh huh! Ken Ham has his book of fairy tales called the BUY-BULL!!!

In the meantime . . . . . musical entertainment will also be provided 
on board my Midnight Science Express!  

 Ozzy Osbourne Crazy Train Lyrics

And here's the lyrics to this here song!
All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!

Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay!

Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate

Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

Let's Go!

I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role

Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words

Heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something' that just isn't fair

Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

Since we are traveling through the Land of the Tards, and also . . . since there are a lot of bat-shit crazy right-wing Christard funny-mentalists out there, I think this musical piece, CRAZY TRAIN, is most appropriate for this occasion! Don't ya all agree?

And now, we shall continue our journey past the Creation Museum . . . . .

Clickity-clack clickity-clck clickity-clack! Whoo Whooooooo!

(Yeah! I know I'm being silly! But me likes to do me train sounds! OK???)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as you look out to the right again, you'll see the proposed construction site for their life-sized representation of Noah's ark. It looks fucking retarded!

You'll all notice how I say . . . that this is a life-sized "representation" of Noah's ark, and that it is NOT a life-sized "replica" of the ark, as Christian Fundamentalist retards like to call it.  That's because Noah's Ark NEVER actually existed! It would not even be a life-sized model of Noah's Ark! 

OK, here's the dictionary definition of the word replica

rep·li·ca [rep-li-kuh]
1. a copy or reproduction of a work of art produced by the maker of the original or under his or her supervision.
2. any close or exact copy or reproduction.
1815–25;  < Italian:  reply, repetition, derivative of replicare  to repeat < Late Latin replicāre  to reply.

2. duplicate, facsimile; imitation. 

World English Dictionary
replica  (ˈrɛplɪkə)
an exact copy or reproduction, esp on a smaller scale

[C19: from Italian, literally: a reply, from replicare  to repeat, from Latin: to bend back, repeat]  

Word Origin and History 

1824, from It. replica "copy, repetition, reply," from L. replicare "to repeat" (see reply). Properly, a copy of a work of art made by the original artist. Replicate, in this sense, is from 1882; genetic sense is first recorded 1957.

So, a replica would be a copy of the original. But since Noah's Ark never actually existed, then there is no such thing as a replica of Noah's Ark, but only a representation! Get that into that shit you have for brains, ya fucking Christian retards!!! OK???

Now then . . . Let's say, for example: if one were to build a life-sized model of the Titanic, that would be a replica, and a scaled down version would be, of course, would be a scale model of the Titanic. That is because, as we all know, the Titanic actually existed.

But, you can't build a life-sized replica of something that was never real to begin with. You can only build a hypothetical representation of Noah's Ark. And again, of course, a scaled down version that might look cute on your coffee table, would NOT really be a scale model, but only a scaled-down representation. Ya got that? Ya fucking Christian retards!!! So, stop calling it a replica! OK???

Later on, I will be talking about why Noah's Ark never actually existed, because, there is an upper limit to how large a wooden boat can be built, and still be seaworthy. Sure! A life-size representation of Noah's Ark can be built on land, or even sitting in a shallow pond. Now, that's possible. But it would break up if it actually went out to sea.

Oh! And guess what! We tax payers may have to foot the bill for this sorry-ass moronic fiasco!

Yeah! Here's an article from The Friendly Atheist. 

And I quote, from said article . . .


Kentucky’s Faltering Ark Theme Park to Be Shored Up With
$62,000,000 in Junk Bonds Issued By Nearby Town
November 30, 2013 By Terry Firma

It’s a public secret that the (Noah’s) Ark Encounter, a planned 800-acre theme park in Kentucky that is a twin to the Creation Museum, is having financial difficulties. According to this article on Kentucky.com, the Biblical tourist attraction is two years and millions of dollars behind schedule.

The money pinch may soon lessen thanks to a generous $62,000,000 bond issue being offered by Williamstown, Kentucky, population 3,600.

The city, which has already granted the project a 75 percent break in property taxes over 30 years, won’t have to repay the bonds, according to the bond-offering documents. That’s good, experts say, because the bonds are not rated, which makes them speculative, or “junk” bonds . . . The taxable bonds are backed by future revenues from the project, which organizers believe will attract more than 1 million visitors in the first year.

An investment professional, Gene Gard, said of the bond issue:

“You could look at it almost as a loan to a family member and not be as concerned about being paid back.”

Investors will lose their money if the Ark Encounter brings in insufficient revenue or goes belly-up, and that risk is hardly imaginary.

The preliminary bond offering documents for the Ark Encounter project list 39 risks for those who buy the bonds, from animals getting sick to possible lawsuits over the constitutionality of a religious project receiving federal and state money.

At least one secularist organization is ready to pounce.

Alex Luchenitser, legal counsel for Americans United for Separation of Church and State in Washington, D.C., said his group has been following the Ark Encounter project closely, but has not made any legal moves because it’s not clear the project will happen.

“We’re not interested in filing a lawsuit where you might not need one in the first place,” he said. “But we think it raises serious constitutional issues, both on the federal church-state requirement and under the Kentucky Constitution,” which has language prohibiting government aid to religious institutions.

On the plus side for investors, those who buy at least $100,000 worth of bonds . . . will receive a lifetime boarding pass to the Ark Encounter, which includes free admission to the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum, with discounts on food and merchandise.

The fact that the Ark project currently seems unlikely to make good on that commitment shouldn’t bother true-blue Christians, who’ve never encountered a Jesus-infused empty promise they didn’t gobble up like manna.


Oh! But it gets even better!!!


Here is another rather interesting article from The Friendly Atheist.


Kentucky’s Governor Wants Citizens to Get Less Educated
January 21, 2012 By Hemant Mehta 51 Comments

Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear just released his budget for 2012-2013 and it looks like he’s investing in the dumbing down of his citizens:

The budget makes $286 million in cuts, including a 6.4 percent cut to a higher education system that has been plagued by funding cuts and rising tuition for years.

But guess who’s getting a tax break? Ken Ham and his extension-of-the-Creation-Museum theme park:

At the same time, the $43 million tax break Kentucky approved for a Bible-themed amusement park — which will include a 500-foot by 75-foot reproduction of Noah’s Ark — goes into effect for the first time under Beshear’s budget. In addition, the budget includes $11 million to improve a highway interchange near the park. Proponents of the park, Beshear included, have claimed it will boost tourism and create jobs, but those assumptions are based on a report done by the park’s developers.

In summary, Governor Beshear has basically used $54,000,000 of taxpayer money to help the Biblical Ark Park. And he took $50,000,000 away from the education budget.

In other words, the Governor just took away $100,000,000 that could have gone toward educating people.

It’s possible the theme park could draw in customers and provide jobs for some people — but to promote something that is the antithesis of what the children should be learning in their schools is not just wasteful, it’s dangerous.

PZ adds:

. . .it makes perfect sense, too. It’s not as if the next generation might need a high school diploma to take advantage of the employment opportunities provided by Answers in Genesis. In fact, it’s probably a selling point to the creationists to have an especially ignorant work force already in place. 

Congratulations, Kentucky. You elected this guy. (And, just FYI, he’s a Democrat.)

Yeah! This Kentucky Governor, Steve Beshear, is a Democrat???

WOW! I guess, even us Democrats have some fucking retards in our own party, I'm ashamed to have to admit! That is why we need to vote all of these bed-wetting ignoramuses out of office during this 2014 midterm election year! We can't have these retards in our party. NO!!! We need to throw these bums out!  

Yeah! We need to send these retards back home on the short bus!

So, in Kentucky, money is being cut back on education, and that money is being diverted over to build a representation, NOT a replica, there is no such thing, but a representation of Noah's Ark. Yeah! Money being taken away from education, and being used instead, to support some fucking retarded Biblical theme park!!!

Well . . . . . . . I suppose that will create a few jobs. I mean, really! Seriously! Somebody has to pick up the empty Cracker Jack boxes and the gum wrappers from the grounds, and somebody has to mop the floors and scrub the toilets. And without a decent education, our kids can always get jobs bagging groceries, or wearing three-cornered paper hats and serving burgers and fries at minimum wage (or less) for the rest of their lives, while America saves money by importing well educated science nerds and techno-geeks in from overseas.  So, who needs to spend money on education? Right?

OK, there's nothing wrong with working in a burger joint, or bagging groceries, if for example: as a summer job for high school students, or part time when you're in school, to make a little extra money. I get that! But, it's not something you would want to do for the rest of your life. Right?

Oh! And by the way . . . the Republicans want to reduce the minimum wage!

Yeah! It's much cheaper to save money on education. Why spend money on chemistry, biology, and physics labs in our schools? All we need to do is put up a few new basketball hoops, and buy new helmets and jerseys for the high school football players. Oh! And what about those kids who aren't good at sports? Yeah! what about them? Well . . . . . they can just get a job wearing three-cornered paper hats and serving burgers and fries! Right? At minimum wage, which the republicans want to cut, or even do away with!

Yeah! Who needs an education in America? Right? All we need is sports and religion! Right? We can just import well educated people in from overseas to keep our lights on, the water flowing, and the wheels turning. We'll just keep producing football players and basketball players to keep us entertained, and our boys who aren't good at sports, and our girls, well . . . they can just do service jobs, bagging groceries, serving burgers and fries, mopping floors, and scrubbing toilets at a Biblical theme park. Yeah! That's the ticket! Can't beat that! Eh? 

Oh! And the kids who are good at reading and writing . . . . . who needs an education in science and math? Right? They can just study the Bible, and start preaching on the street corners, and maybe some wealthy evangelist will recognize their talent, and help them get a spot on TV Evangelism, so that they too can grow rich by fleecing their flocks of moronic sheep! So, boys and girls! If ya really wanna get rich, ya just gotta get that ol' time religion! Yeah! Gimme that ol' time religion! Yeah! Ih huh! That's the ticket!

Yeah! You'll even get to ride on the old Gospel Train to glory!

The Old Gospel Train to Glory-land! Hallelujah! Amen!
Yeah! Anybody here wanna get on board that old Gospel Train to Glory-land?

Yeah! I know from experience!
Nah! Didn't think so! 

We'll all just stay on board the Midnight Science Express!

It's much safer. Right? Right!

Well . . . . . actually . . . . . as we all should know from history, science can sometimes be a rather dangerous and hazardous occupation. Isn't that right, Galileo! Yeah! He should know from personnel experience! Isn't that right Mr Galileo!

OK, I just had an unscientific moment. Sorry 'bout that! It's sort of dumb of me to say to Galileo "isn't that right, Galileo!" since the dear gentleman has been dead a few centuries. But then, it was only a rhetorical question anyway. 

However, if Galileo were still living today, while he would be amazed at the science and technology we have in the 21st century, he would also be appalled at the idiocy and the moronic buffoonery that is occurring in the USA these days! 

From what I have read about Galileo, well . . . he is my hero!  I love and admire him!

Of course, by some historic accounts that I have read, he was hard person to get along with. He had little or no patience or any  tolerance what-so-ever for ignorance and stupidity. He was very cynical and out-spoken, and sometime he could be a real prick!

Hey! I love him even more, just knowing that! 

He's my kind of people! I'm also a cynical prick, and I also have no tolerance for stupidity. If I had a time machine, and could go back in time to meet my hero, Galileo, then perhaps we could sit  down at a table in a pub and have a dark ale, and I would teach him how to smoke some cigars. I'm sure he would like those!    

Anyway . . . . .

It's just too fucking bad that America has not learned from the history of our past mistakes. If the Republican Christian Fundamentalists have their way, America would become a Theocracy, broken up into many small isolated fiefdoms, and go back to the feudal system. Yeah, the end of Democracy!

With the declining quality of education in American schools, it is no wonder the USA has become the laughing stock of the world. Yeah! I know, I have shown the following chart below once before in another one of my other articles. But. I'm going to show it again! Like it or not! OK? 

How the USA ranks in education compared to countries

Compared to other countries, the USA ranks 25th in  MATH, it ranks 12th in READING, and it ranks 20th in science! Now, this is really fucking pathetic! 

Oh well . . . . . our boys can always play profession sports. Of course, those kids in school with physical handicaps, or who simply don't care for sports, and the girls, well . . . they all can just serve burgers and fries or bag groceries for the rest of there lives at minimum wage, or less. Right?

Oh wait! I keep forgetting! The Republicans want to do away with the minimum wage! Like, stupid me! DUH!!!

OK, my fellow passengers . . . anybody here need some more barf bags? We'll also be passing out some Alka Seltzer tablets and some ice cold lemon-lime Canada Dry Seltzer.

And now, time for a commercial break . . . . .

For a headache, upset stomach accompanied by acid reflux, or heart burn . . .

Refresh yourself with some Alka Seltzer tablets dropped into a glass of 
Canada Dry Lemon-lime Seltzer.

Plop plop fizz fizz
Oh what a relief it is
Plop plop fizz fizz
Oh what a relief it is
Oh . . . what a relief it is

So, remember . . . . .

No matter what shape . . .   

   . . . you're stomach is in

Take Alka Seltzer for relief.

We now return, back to our program, still in progress. . .

Well, my dear passengers, I hope you're all beginning to feel a little bit better now. 

We are now leaving Kentucky as the Midnight Science Express heads homeward bound. But our journey is not over yet. There is still much much more to see!

Clickity-clack clickity-clck clickity-clack! Whoo Whooooooo!

(Yeah! I know! More of my silly train sounds! Just humor me! OK?)

We now must look off to the left as we observe some scientific facts as to why Noah's Ark is actually a physical impossibility. Yes, you must look out toward the left, because scientific facts and reason, just happens to naturally have a left-leaning bias. Sorry 'bout that you right-wing Republican Christian retards!!!

And now . . . . .

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things,
of ships and sails and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings!

Well . . . actually . . . . . I won't be discussing cabbages and kings. 

But, I will be talking about ships, and I will mention some famous ships with sails, however, this topic is mainly  about Noah's ark, which of course didn't have any sails, at least, none was mentioned in the Biblical account of Noah's ark.

Anyway . . . I shall endeavor to show, how it was NOT possible to build a boat the size of Noah's ark out of wood, because of it's size and weight, and because wood is too fragile, and a boat of such dimensions, as mentioned in the Genesis account, would have been structurally unstable.

I came across this rather interesting article from Skeptoid  . . . . .

NOTE: In the following article, the dimensions given are in meters. So, I will convert them to feet instead.

First of all, in the Biblical account, the measurements of Noah's Ark was in cubits.

That is, 300 cubits the length thereof, 50 cubits the breadth (width) thereof, and 30 cubits the height thereof. That's how it's described in the Bible.

A cubit is the length of one's forearm, from the elbow to the tip of the middle finger, about 18 inches. Of course, some people have longer or shorter forearms, but 18 inches is the standard. Anyway, that would translate as being 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high.

In metric units, that is 137.16 meters long, 22.86 meters wide, and 13.716 meters high.

And now . . . . . on to the following article.


Noah's Ark: Sea Trials

Could a wooden vessel like Noah's Ark actually have been made seaworthy?

Filed under Ancient Mysteries, General Science
Skeptoid #279
October 11, 2011
Podcast transcript 
Noah's Ark by Edward Hicks (detail)
(Public domain)
Today we're going to have a bit of fun and shine the light of science on an ancient story. It is said that a gigantic wooden ship once carried a family and two of every kind of animal to safety, when the entire world was flooded. Noah's Ark sailed for five months, then rested aground, sheltering its multitudinous crew for more than a year.

The elephant in the room here is that it's virtually impossible to do an episode on this subject without having it sound like an attack on Christianity. I argue that it's not at all; the majority of Christians, when you combine the numerous denominations, don't insist that the Noah story is a literal true account. And, as has been pointed out many times, the Bible is hardly the only place where various versions of the Noah story are found. The most famous parallel, of course, is the Epic of Gilgamesh, wherein one of the many Babylonian gods charged the man Utnapishtim to build an ark, in a story that parallels Noah's in all the major details and most of the minor ones. It is perfectly plausible that all such stories stem from an actual event, the details of which are lost to history, but that might well account for the stories we have today of a boat and a flood. But regardless, in this episode I'm not going to address any issues of faith, but only of science. We want to look at the engineering plausibility of Noah's great ship.

Noah's Ark was a great rectangular box of gopherwood, or perhaps some combination of other woods colloquially referred to as gopherwood. Its dimensions are given as 137 meters (449.475 feet) long, 23 meters (75.4593 feet) wide, and 14 meters (45.9318 feet) high. This is very, very big; it would have been the longest wooden ship ever built. These dimensions rank it as one of history's greatest engineering achievements; but they also mark the start of our sea trials, our test of whether or not it's possible for this ship to have ever sailed, or indeed, been built at all.

Would it have been possible to find enough material to build Noah's Ark? When another early super-ship was built, the Great Michael (completed in Scotland in 1511) it was said to have consumed "all the woods of Fife". Fife was a county in Scotland famous for its shipbuilding. The Great Michael's timber had to be purchased and imported not only from other parts of Scotland, but also from France, the Baltic Sea, and from a large number of cargo ships from Norway. Yet at 73 meters (239.501 feet) long, she was only about half the length of Noah's Ark. Clearly a ship twice the length of the Great Michael, and larger in all other dimensions, would have required many times as much timber. It's never been clearly stated exactly where Noah's Ark is said to have been built, but it would have been somewhere in Mesopotamia, probably along either the Tigris or Euphrates rivers. This area is now Iraq, which has never been known for its abundance of shipbuilding timber.

In 2003, a doctoral candidate at the Georgia Institute of Technology, Jose Solis, created a proposal to build the Ark for Noah based on sound naval architecture. He proposed a dead weight — the weight of the wooden structure alone minus cargo and ballast — as 3,676 tons. Fully loaded, it would have displaced 13,000 tons, as compared to the Great Michael's 1,000 that consumed "all the wood of Fife". Where would all that wood have come from? In his proposal, Solis simply skipped this detail, and assumed the wood was commercially available at a cost of $16,472,040 in 2003 dollars. Tens of thousands of massive timber-quality trees would have to have been imported into the middle of what's now Iraq. Did Noah have the resources to import from France, Norway, or anywhere else?

But if the Ark did get built, it would be necessary to overcome its extraordinary fragility. If you pick up a toy Hot Wheels car, you can squeeze it as hard as you want but you can't break it. However, if you were a giant and reached down to pick up a normal passenger car, your fingers would crush it before creating sufficient friction to lift it. If you even lifted it by one corner, you would warp its structure noticeably. When we extend this to even larger vessels, their fragility is magnified. Recall that when the Titanic sank, that massive steel structure tore completely in half simply because one end was heavier than the other. Just that difference in weight was sufficient to tear open many decks of reinforced steel that had been engineered to the day's toughest standards. Were Titanic a wooden box instead of rigid steel, you (as a giant) could destroy it just by swishing your finger in the water next to it.

Allow me to explain. What's known as the square-cube law is pretty familiar: increase an object's dimensions, and its surface area increases by the square of the multiplier, and its weight increases by the cube of the multiplier. But one extension of this law is less familiar. When we scale up an object — take a wooden structural beam as an example — the strength of the beam does not increase as fast as its weight. Applied mechanics and material sciences give us all the tools we need to compute this. In summary, the tensile strength of a beam is a function of its moment and its section modulus. No need to go into the complicated details here — you can look up beam theory on beam theory on Wikipedia if you want to learn the equations. Scale up a simple wooden beam large enough, the weight will exceed its strength, and it will break from its own weight alone. Scaled up to the immense size of Noah's Ark, a stout wooden box would be unspeakably fragile.

If there was even the gentlest of currents, sufficient pressure would be put on the hull to open its seams. Currents are not a complete, perfectly even flow. They consist of eddies and slow-moving turbulence. This puts uneven pressure on the hull, and Noah's Ark would bend with those eddies like a snake. Even if the water itself was perfectly still, wind would expose the flat-sided Ark's tremendous windage, exerting a shearing force that might well crumple it.

Whether a wooden ship the size of Noah's Ark could be made seaworthy is in grave doubt. At 137 meters (450 feet), Noah's Ark would be the largest wooden vessel ever confirmed to have been built. In recorded history, some dozen or so wooden ships have been constructed over 90 meters (295.276 feet); few have been successful. Even so, these wooden ships had a great advantage over Noah's Ark: their curved hull shapes. Stress loads are distributed much more efficiently over three dimensionally curved surfaces than they are over flat surfaces. But even with this advantage, real-world large wooden ships have had severe problems. The sailing ships the 100 meter (328.084 feet) Wyoming (sunk in 1924) and 99 meter (324.803 feet) Santiago (sunk in 1918) were so large that they flexed in the water, opening up seams in the hull and leaking. The 102 meter (334.646 feet) British warships HMS Orlando and HMS Mersey had such bad structural problems that they were scrapped in 1871 and 1875 after only a few years in service. Most of the largest wooden ships were, like Noah's Ark, unpowered barges. Yet even those built in modern times, such as the 103 meter (337.927 feet) Pretoria in 1901, required substantial amounts of steel reinforcement; and even then needed steam-powered pumps to fight the constant flex-induced leaking.

Even in the world of legend, only two other ships are said to have approached the size claimed for Noah's Ark. One was the Greek trireme Tessarakonteres at 127 meters (416.667 feet), the length and existence of which is known only by the accounts of Plutarch and Athenaeus. Plutarch said of her:

But this ship was merely for show; and since she differed little from a stationary edifice on land, being meant for exhibition and not for use, she was moved only with difficulty and danger.

The other example is the largest of the Chinese treasure ships built by the admiral Zheng He in the 15th century, matching Noah's 137 meters (449.475 feet), but only in the highest estimates. Many believe the biggest ships Zheng took with him on his seven voyages were no bigger than half that size, and moreover, that they remained behind in rivers and were not suitably seaworthy for ocean travels.

The long and the short of it — no pun intended — is that there's no precedent for a wooden ship the size of Noah's Ark being seaworthy, and plenty of naval engineering experience telling us that it wouldn't be expected to work. Even if pumps had been installed and all hands worked round the clock pumping, the Ark certainly would have leaked catastrophically, filled with water, and capsized.

There's another elephant in the room, too, that is necessary to address. Many of the problems with the Noah story are often answered, by those who regard it as a literal true account, with a special pleading. A special pleading is when any question is answered with "It was done by a higher power that you and I are not qualified to understand or question." Obviously, every point that science might raise regarding the Noah story can be fully answered with a special pleading. Superman, Underdog, and The Jetsons can shown to be literal true accounts if we allow special pleadings to be admissible. If the special pleading of divine intervention did indeed come into play during the Great Flood, then it was the most flagrant Rube Goldberg solution I've ever heard of. If divine intervention was needed to give Noah knowledge of how to build the Ark, or to provide the wood for its construction; then why not just provide an already-completed ark? Why bring the animals on board to be fed for a year or more, when divine intervention could have provided them an island? For that matter, why have the entire flood at all, when divine intervention could have simply struck down the evil humans with a plague? Why construct this most elaborate of all disaster and survival scenarios, some part of which was dependent on divine intervention; when divine intervention could have easily made the entire ordeal unnecessary? Special pleadings dismiss the true sciences that have allowed us to build real ships and conquer the world. Looking at the reality of what's possible and how things are done is always more interesting than imagining what's possible when anything is possible.

If instead of reading the text in the above article, you can simply listen to an audio reading of said article from Skeptoid.

And, to read the article on Beam Theory, just go to Wikipedia.

The Wikipedia article involves a lot of math. Now, I know how to do geometry, algebra, and trigonometry, but unfortunately, I have never had a chance to learn calculus.

So, as you can see, expert engineers all say that Noah's Ark is simply not feasible! I'll now have more to say on this subject, as to why, a wooden boat the size of Noah's Ark is doomed to failure.

OK, we really don't know exactly what Noah's Ark actually looked like. There are many paintings, drawings, some scale models, and even some life-sized replicas depicting the ark. But, it's all speculation at best.

Oh! Did I say . . . replica? Whoops! I just had a retard moment! Sorry 'bout that! Well, I am 62 years old (as of this publication) after all, and sometimes I'm subject to having an occasional senior moment. OK?

As I have said before, much earlier, there is no such thing as a "replica" of Noah's Ark because, again, it never actually existed, and you can't build a "replica" of something that never ever existed. So, a life-sized "representation" or life-sized "model" would be a better choice of words.

Since we really don't know what the ark was supposed to have looked like, there has been many different kinds of representations of Noah's Ark. Not even the Bible says what it looked like. The Bible only give the dimensions in cubits, which sounds like a description of a rectangular solid.

Sometimes the ark is depicted as basically, a long box-like structure with flat sides, like a rectangular solid, and sometimes it's depicted as more boat-like with a more rounded bow and a rounded stern, and also, the lower half of the hull being curved.

Here is a scale model of the box-like depiction of Noah's ark.

Aw! Sweet!

Well . . . I admit, it looks really neat and all that, but . . . . .

Notice the thick heavy beams running the full length of the ark. Well . . . that's possible in a scaled down model, but I doubt you can have wooden beams that long running the full length in a life-sized model. I seriously doubt if Noah could have have cut wooden beams 450 feet long, the length of the entire ark, as depicted in the model above.

The world's tallest tree known, is the Coast Redwood (Sequoia sempervirens) about 115.72 meters (379.65 feet) tall, at Hyperion, Redwood National Park, California. And there were no trees that size in the area where Noah supposedly lived. The longest beams that he could have cut, would be about 100 feet or less from trees existing in that region. Also, redwood is too soft. Yes, it cuts easily enough, but it also breaks easily, unlike pine or oak.

Well . . . . . in the BUY-BULL, it's says the arc was built of Gopher Wood, whatever the fucking Hell that is! Oh! I know! God told Noah to GOPHER WOOD!!! Yeah! Go fer wood! 

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I know! I know! Bad joke! So, sue me! 

Anyway . . . . . here is another model of the box-like version.

Yeah, it's cute, and kind of neat looking. Might make a neat decoration on the mantel of your fireplace, but too big for on the coffee table. And because it's just a model, it will float, and your kids can have fun playing with it in the swimming pool. But, not at a public pool or a public beach. Your kids might get laughed at, unless you live in the Southern Republican red states! Anyway, it's too big for the bath tub.

Oh! It costs about $1,900 dollars! REALLY!!! YA GOTTA BE SHITTIN' ME!!!

Yeah! You can order this retarded piece of shit at . . . . .


Of course, there are some Republican Christian Fundamentalist adults who might be retarded enough to want to play with a Noah's Ark toy on the beach. Ah! But then . . . most fucking retarded Republican Christard Funny-mentalists are rich enough to have their own backyard swimming pools!

But, I'm sure a lot of Republicans are retarded enough to take a Noah's Ark toy to a public beach!

For example:  

Yeah! We know! We know!

This moronic fuck-tard makes me ashamed to be a Texan!

Anyway . . . . . . .

Here is a more boat-like version with a more rounded bow and stern, and the curved hull.

A life-size representation of Noah's Ark, sitting in shallow water, just for show!!!

Yeah, this looks more boat-like instead of box-like.

Of course, the boat-like version would be little bit more sturdy because of its rounded bow and stern and curved lower haul. So yes! It is possible to build a life-sized REPRESENTATION of Noah's Ark, as long as it's built, either on land, or only sitting in a shallow pond, just for show.

But the more boat-like version of the ark with its rounded bow and stern and curved lower hull would have a some-what lower volume than the rectangular version, and therefore, would have less space for all the animals than the rectangular version. It's quite obvious that really large wooden structures can be built on dry land, or placed in a shallow pond, as long as it doesn't have to actually go anywhere. However . . . . . it's still not sea worthy. It would break up and sink during a storm.

But, as mentioned before, in reference to other large wooden ships 

as in the above Skeptoid article . . . . .

". . . . . these wooden ships had a great advantage over Noah's Ark: their curved hull shapes. Stress loads are distributed much more efficiently over three dimensionally curved surfaces than they are over flat surfaces. But even with this advantage, real-world large wooden ships have had severe problems."

And here's a link to a YouTube video talking about the ark and other wooden ships in more detail.

Fantastic New Video Maker!!! Arguing From Ignorance

OK, I'm only going to quote a few lines from the above video.

"Ship building is not a new science, we've been doing it for quite a while, and in that time we've really explored the process quite extensively. A wooden ship the size of the ark has never existed, because it doesn't work.

"The largest sea worthy wooden ship ever built, the Wyoming, twisted and buckled, leaked and sank, because there are physical limits to using wood as a construction material. Modern engineers try to surpass those limits by cross-bracing the wood with iron to try to keep the hull stable."

"Is it reasonable that a farmer and his three sons could build a super massive wooden ship then, knowing that the best ship builders in the world haven't been able to replicate it in all this time since?"

And here is some more from a later segment of the video.

"The Wyoming's wooden hull twisted and buckled in heavy seas, despite the addition of 90 diagonal iron cross-bracing on each side, and it could only be kept afloat with pumps. It sank shortly after it was built, killing the entire crew. And this was the very pinnacle of wooden hull technology before it was abandoned for more sensible materials, like steel." 

Yeah! Even with all the cross-bracing of the wooden hull with iron beams, the Wyoming still broke up and sank. I doubt if Noah even had the technology to make long enough iron beams for the diagonal beams to cross-brace the wooden hull. That was back in the bronze age before iron was used more extensively.

The Wyoming was 329.5 feet (100.4 meters) long

Also, the Wyoming could only be kept afloat by constantly using pumps. Again, I seriously doubt if Noah knew how to make pumps to keep the ark from filling with water. The old wooden ships used steam pumps. Hand pumps only work for small boats. Even if Noah could figure out how to make hand pumps out of bronze, Noah and his family would have to be constantly working the pumps. But the ark would have twisted, and buckled, and leaked, and sank anyway, despite all their best efforts.

And also, as I have mentioned earlier . . . the more rounded-out version of the ark would have had a lesser total volume than the more box-like version, therefore, somewhat less room for cargo, and therein lies another really big problem.

I seriously doubt that Noah's Ark could have held all the known species (two of each kind) of animal, plus enough food to feed them all.

Yeah, like I'm really suppose to believe that Noah's Ark could provide more room for livestock and provisions than the Titanic! FORGET IT!!!

And then of course, there is the problem of the structural strength of a wooden ship verses a ship built of re-enforced steel. But even then, the mighty Titanic broke in half when it sank, and a large wooden ship like Noah's Ark would have broken up if it had encountered 10 foot high waves. The wooden haul would have been flexing and bending and twisting, causing it to leak, and the ark would have broken up during a storm. There is a limit to how large a wooden ship can be built. Any larger than that, would require a ship built of re-enforced steel. And remember, even the Titanic broke into two pieces as it sank.

 I also have another problem with the whole Genesis account of Noah's Ark and the flood.

There is simply not enough water on this planet to completely flood the earth to the highest mountain tops. Even if the polar caps were to completely melt away, and all the snow caps on all the mountain tops, and all the glaciers, and every God damn ice cube in all the fridges in all the world were to melt, and even if we were to pump all the water from all the underground aquifers, and dump it all into the oceans, there would still only be enough water to raise the sea levels up about 300 feet. Certainly not enough to cover all the mountains.

NO! Please don't say something retarded, like, well . . . . . maybe back then, in the days of Noah, the mountains were not as tall as they are now. Sorry! But there has always been high mountains on the earth. There was a lot of extensive volcanic activity on the earth, from the very beginning, about 4.5 BILLION years ago, and NOT 6,000 years ago! Got it??? Ya fucking Republican retards!!!

And I don't want to hear any stupid shit about an ice canopy sitting on top of the earth's atmosphere that melted and came down on the earth, and I don't want to hear about that stupid hydro-plate theory which says that the earth's rocky crust was on top of the waters below, before the "fountains of the deep" broke up.

Listen up ya morons!

Ice can not float on top of the air, and rock can not float on top of water!

And so . . . . . the ark is a physical impossibility, and the Geneses flood never happened. There is no scientific geological evidence of there ever having been a world wide flood. It was just a fairy tale.

Again . . . Noah's Ark is a physical impossibility. The largest wooden ship in history was the Wyoming, as I had mentioned earlier, which was about 120.5 feet shorter than Noah's Ark and it had broken up, and sank, despite being re-enforced with diagonal iron cross-bracings. So . . . . . what chance would there have been for Noah's Ark? Eh?

Anyway . . . . .

Here is an article from Wikipedia about the Wyoming.

Wyoming (schooner)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Wyoming was a wooden six-masted schooner, the largest wooden schooner ever built. She was built and completed in 1909 by the firm of Percy & Small in Bath, Maine. Wyoming was also one of the largest wooden ships ever built, 450 ft (140 m) from jib-boom tip to spanker boom tip, and the last six-masted schooner built on the east coast of the US.

Because of her extreme length and wood construction, Wyoming tended to flex in heavy seas, which would cause the long planks to twist and buckle, thereby allowing sea water to intrude into the hold. Wyoming had to use pumps to keep her hold relatively free of water. In March 1924, she foundered in heavy seas and sank with the loss of all hands.


Wyoming was 329.5 feet (100.4 m) long and 50 ft 1 in (15.27 m) wide, with a draft of 30 ft 5 in (9.27 m). She had a volume of 373,054 cubic feet (10,563.7 m3), that is, a gross register tonnage (GRT) of 3730.54. After subtracting the volume consumed by the helm and crew quarters and other areas not suitable for cargo, she had a cargo capacity of 303,621 cubic feet (8,597.6 m3), or a net register tonnage of 3036.21. Her deadweight was 6,004 long tons, that is, the weight of the ship fully loaded, including the crew, cargo (6,000 tons), fuel, water and stores, less the weight of the ship when totally empty (4,000 tons), was 6,004 long tons. She could carry 6,000 long tons of coal. Wyoming was built of yellow pine with 6" planking and there were 90 diagonal iron cross-bracings on each side.

Wyoming was equipped with a Hyde anchor windlass and a donkey steam engine to raise and lower sails, haul lines and perform other tasks. The steam engine was not used to power the ship, but permitted her to be sailed with a smaller crew of only 11 hands. She was named for the state of Wyoming because Wyoming Governor Bryant Butler Brooks (1907–1921) was one of the investors in the ship, which cost $175,000 in 1909 dollars. Another Percy & Small-built schooner, the five-masted Governor Brooks, was named after Brooks.


1909 – 15 December. Launched at the Shipyard of "Percy & Small" with her masts stepped. First master: Captain Angus McLeod of Somerville, Massachusetts. 
1909 – 21 December. Maiden voyage to Newport News, Virginia    1916 – In Charter of "International Paper Co." 
1917 – April. Sold to "France & Canada Steamship Co." for about $350,000 (probably about $420,000). By 1 October 1919, she had earned more than twice that amount, and her owners chartered her to load coal at Norfolk for Genoa at $23.50 per ton. 
1921 – Sold to Captain "A. W. Frost & Co.", Portland, Maine. 
1924 – Left Norfolk, Virginia, under command of Captain Charles Glaesel, for St John, New Brunswick, with a cargo of coal. 
1924 – 24 March. In order to ride out a nor'easter, she anchored off Chatham, Massachusetts, in the Nantucket Sound, together with the five-masted schooner Cora F. Cressey which had left Norfolk at the same time as Wyoming. Captain H. Publicover on the Cora F. Cressey weighed anchor at dusk and stood out to sea. Wyoming is believed to have foundered east of the Pollock Rip Lightship and the entire crew of 14 was lost.

So, the Wyoming was about 329.5 feet long, but including the jib-boom and the spanker tail (rudder), the total length was 450 feet, but the hull, the ship itself, not including the jib-boom and spanker tail, was only 329.5 feet long, whereas Noah's Ark, the hull itself was supposedly 450 feet long. So, the Wyoming was about 120.5 shorter than Noah's Ark was supposed to have been.

Now, if the Wyoming, being about 120.5 feet shorter than Noah's Ark, and eventually broke up and sank with all hands on board, then, imagine what would have happened to Noah's Ark. The Bible mentions that the ark was made of wood. There is no mention of any other materials, like any kind of metals involved, but only wood. And of course, the wood was covered with pitch. Bear in mind, this was back in the bronze age before iron was used.

If the Wyoming broke up, despite being re-enforced with iron cross-bracings, just imagine what would have happened to Noah's Ark without any metal cross-bracings to strengthen the hull. Noah's Ark would have broken up and sank the first time it encountered a storm on the high seas.

But . . . in the meantime . . . . .

I would like to challenge anyone who wishes to build a life-sized REPRESENTATION of Noah's Ark, and to actually have it floating in deep water instead of sitting on dry land, or just sitting in a shallow pond. Also, it must be towed out to the high seas where there are some really big waves.

Yeah! I challenge anyone to build such a thing, but . . . . . with one stipulation . . . that it NOT be at the expense of us taxpayers! Got it? Also, whoever builds the ark, must use bronze age technology. No cheating! And one more thing . . . NO LIVE ANIMALS on the ark, but only life-sized stuffed animals. Oh! And if you have any dinosaurs on your ark, be sure that they're baby dinosaurs! OK?

So, if some super rich billionaire wants to build a life-sized REPRESENTATION of Noah's Ark, then he should foot the bill for it himself, and not do it on the tax payer's dime. Got it? Good! Then, have your ark towed out to sea (at your own expense) and then, see what happens when it encounters a storm on the ocean.

Also . . . . .  DO NOT, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT have your family accompany you aboard your stupid ark! If you do, and if something goes seriously wrong, which it will, then you should be charged with negligent homicide! If you want to have anyone join you aboard your ark, then invite all of your right-wing Christian Republican friends, have a party, and get drunk! OK?

Oh! And another thing . . . since radios were not invented yet during the times of Noah, then you should have no radio transmitter on board your ark to send out any distress signal. No, when your ark starts breaking up on the high seas, then too fucking bad for you!!! OK??? Also, no life boats. Because there was never anything mentioned in the BUY-BULL about life boats on Noah's Ark. OK? So, if anything goes wrong, which it will, then, I guess you'll all be Heaven bound for glory! Eh? Yeah! That's the ticket! Sound like a pretty good deal to me! Right?   

Of course, I'm quite sure your epic venture will be an . . . . .


Well . . . . . I for one, am  quite sure, that none of us here are going to get on that boat! Instead, we will just remain safely on board the Midnight Science Express!

And finally . . . another thing . . . you stupid right-wing Republican Funny-mentalist Christards!!!

Stop fucking with education in our public schools! Stop turning our public schools into pipelines to prison!

Yeah! A kid can get Tazered by the cops and get hauled off to jail for "disrupting class" because he/she refuses to believe in unicorns, or refuses to believe that Noah had dinosaurs aboard the ark, or for coughing or sneezing, or wearing the wrong color socks, or not having his/her shirt tucked in!

Well, thankfully, President Obama wants to put an end to the ZERO TOLERANCE policy in our public schools. And in this 2014 midterm election year, we have to vote all of these Tea Party retards out of office.

And I hope Hillery runs for President in the 2016 election year.

Well, anyway . . . . .

We are almost to the end of the homeward bound portion of our  journey through the Land of the Tards. Also, if any of you are still felling hungry, we have some left-over Ken Ham sandwiches in the diner coach.

So, in the meantime . . . . . 

Here's a little musical entertainment before we reach the end of our journey.

This is a song about another train called The City of New Orleans.

The YouTube video features the Microsoft Train Simulator. So, for all of you computers geeks who like video games or simulators, this is one really cool video! Also . . . I happen to have the Microsoft Train Simulator on my own computer. It actually takes as much skill to operate as a real train.

Anyway . . . . .

Hope you'll all enjoy this song.

City of New Orleans
And here are the lyrics to this song.

City Of New Orleans

Ridin' on the City of New Orleans
Illinois Central Monday morning rail
Fifteen cars and fifteen restless riders
Three conductors and twenty-five sacks of mail
All along the southbound odyssey
the train pulls out of Kankakeea

and rolls along past houses farms and fields
Passing trains that have no names
and freight-yards full of old black men

and graveyards full of rusted automobiles

Good morning America how are you?
Say, don't you know me I'm your native son
I'm the train they call the City of New Orleans
And I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done

Dealin' cards with an old man in the club car
Penny a point, ain't no one keepin' score
Pass that paper bag that holds the bottle
And feel the wheels a rumbling neath the floor
And the sons of  Pullman porters and the sons of engineers
Ride their father's magic carpet made of steel
Mothers with their babes asleep rockin' to that gentle beat
And the rhythm of the rails is all they feel

Good morning America how are you?
Say, don't you know me I'm your native son
I'm the train they call the City of New Orleans
And I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done

Night time on the City of New Orleans 

Changing cars in Memphis Tennessee
Half way home we'll be there by morning
Through the Mississippi darkness rolling down to the sea
And all the towns and people seem
to fade into a bad dream
And the steel rails still ain't heard the news
The conductor sings his songs again
the passengers will please refrain
This train has got the disappearing railroad blues

Good night America how are you?
Say, don't you know me I'm your native son
I'm the train they call the City of New Orleans
And I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done

OK, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we are now coming back to our home station, back home again from our tedious journey through the Land of the Tards! I hope you all enjoyed the trip, and maybe even had a few good laughs. 

Parents, please tell your kids to study their science and math, and to eat their broccoli and red beets (which Republicans hate, because they all wear diapers and eat baby food or pablum) and tell your kids to go to their local public library, and check out some really good books on science. 

Hey kids! Science is fun! Tell your parents to get you some really neat science kits. When I was a kid, I had a chemistry set, a Gilbert Microscope and Lab Kit. I had even ordered some really cool stuff from the Edmund Scientific Co.

Anyway, we will be arriving back at our home station shortly.

Clickity-clack clickity-clck clickity-clack clickity-clack clickity-clack! Whooooooo whooooooooo! Clickity-clack clickity-clck clickity-clack! SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH!!! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding!

Ah! We are now home from our journey.

On our next trip, through the Land of the Tards, we will be debunking the Genesis Flood which will be Part #2 of our next trip out of Debunction Junction. 

In the meantime, I'll be looking forward to seeing you all come aboard the Midnight Science Express again for our next journey through the Land of the Tards!

Be sure to tell your friends about riding on the Midnight Science Express. Remember, it doesn't cost anything to ride this train. The tickets are FREE!

Hope you all have a good evening.

I'll be seeing you all again, soon!

Thank you for riding the Midnight Science Express.


 We are too big for our britches! We go out mooning the world!

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ THE END ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Post a Comment